took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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