I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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