Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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