We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
