She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
