I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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