I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Boobs speak an international language.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
