honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
