Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Houston, we have a squirter
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize