shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I need moral support for this bender
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
