dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
