She's JV to your varsity
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
