Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
