People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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