She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
