I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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