ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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