I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
