thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
