I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
