They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
