so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
A+ Viking dick
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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