Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
