We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
