The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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