it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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