You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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