She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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