what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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