whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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