What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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