I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
