When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
