Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
