coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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