Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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