Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
