farters have to be the big spoon...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
