Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
