I got chris browned last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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