Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
