Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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