yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
