That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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