the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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