honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
