You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize