My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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