i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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