if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
