the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize