4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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