Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize