What did we do last night that was yellow?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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