Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
