do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
