On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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