How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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