Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
they're like a gay fantastic four
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
