Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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