you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
