i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
