I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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