Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
