biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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