dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize