im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
