It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
