i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
