Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
